You have been reading about my word for the year (accept) and others are talking about action words...so in addition to accept, I am choosing Let it Go....as the great Tim McGraw says in his song of the same title....
"I've been caught sideways out here on the crossroads
Trying to buy back the pieces I lost of my soul
It's hard when the devil won't get off your back
It's like carrying around the past in a hundred pound sack
Skeletons and Ghosts are hiding in the shadows
Threatening me with all the things that they know
Choices and mistakes, they all know my name
But I'm through holding in and holding onto all that pain
I'm gonna hold my head up high
I'm gonna leave it all behind
Today I'm gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I'm gonna let it go
I know I've been forgiven
I know I'm gonna start living"
I found this blog awhile back (thanks Jingle) of Melody Ross' the other day she made this comment
"Are now or have you ever been in a place right now where you can see and feel almost nothing? You don’t even know what is helping you breathe, but something is. You are surviving. You can not see or feel, because if you could, it would just be too traumatic and overwhelming. I just want you to know that you can get through it, you will make it….someday you will be thankful that you could not see or feel all of it until you are ready. Our bodies are so smart, so intuitive, so protective. I want you to know that you will feel again someday, you will SEE again. And seeing and feeling after not feeling or seeing is SO MUCH MORE INCREDIBLE than never knowing what it’s like to not be able to see or feel."
That is how I feel, that I am in this "self induced intensive care ", I feel things somewhat, but then watching Oprah yesterday, she described it even better...
"she (Oprah) does know she was exhausted. "I let the well run dry. That's what happened when I started to get unbalanced, when I started to not take time for myself, when I started to go unconscious."
Wow, so heartfelt! But boy oh boy can I relate. I'm just starting to come through to the other side of "self-induced intensive care" as you said. Yup, it's starting to look like life is worthwhile again, but it hasn't been easy. Hugs to you, my friend!
ReplyDelete(Oh ... and this is your first crop reminder ... see? I didnt' forget! I'll be back to remind you again!)
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful! I'm glad that you were able to connect with Melody! She really is an inspiration!
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